That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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