Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
