i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
