I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
