Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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