I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
