if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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