Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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