I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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