sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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