i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
