I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
