Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
