I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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