Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
