Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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