nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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