We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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