I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
