also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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