No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
