Whod you bang
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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