i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
