u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
