everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
