therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
