you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
