More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
