Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
