I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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