I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
