Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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