I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
