true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
