Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
