so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
