Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
