I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
