Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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