so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I need to calm my uterus...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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