we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
