haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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