If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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