Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
