I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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