that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
