yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i think im in europe. pls send help
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
