I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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