That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
