just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
