To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
